We added to our family :)

So we did end up adopting that kitten I pictured below. We think she's about 11 months, but we'll be bringing her into our vet for a closer look. She's such a love bug, just very shy. So far she's taken a liking to our cat tower in the second bedroom, though she's slowly been venturing out. As I write this she and Mr. Papps are chillin on the couch watching TV :)

Our other kitty Kimo is so excited to have a new playmate, so every time she runs around he thinks it's go time. Pretty hilarious to watch since she acts like he's there to kill her, and the faster she runs away, the faster he runs to catch up. LOL We're hoping to see them spoon soon :)

Wordless Wednesday - The cat we're looking to possibly adopt tomorrow

2ww

So after my second beta came back at 277, I felt this wave of relief; like I could breathe a little bit. Well, that didn't last long. My first u/s is in 2 weeks and I am DYING to get in. They wanted me to come in a little bit later so they could guarantee (hopefully, fingers crossed) a heartbeat. So I go in on 2/24 at 6w5d..... this will be the longest 2ww of my life. I thought once I got pregnant, things would be less stressful LOL

I will say I decided to try and enjoy this pregnancy once we hear things look good. I don't want to look back and regret having not enjoyed it. It took us too damn long to get here, and I realized if something is going to happen, it will happen whether I worry or not!

I still count my blessings every night. I cannot believe this is actually happening to me!

Beta # 2

Came back great! We're looking at a sweet 277 :)
I still can't believe that this is happening to ME. It's surreal. It's so crazy because I spent sooo much time learning about TTC, infertility and all that jazz, that I don't have a clue as to what to do when pregnant! I am a fish out of water. 100% lost and unsure of what's next. My RE didn't tell me much except for take it easy, relax and enjoy and if I see the dreaded blood, call. Great, thanks!

Though I'm beyond thrilled, I will say that a part of me is so sad. I have met so many wonderful ladies on the TTTC, TTGP & Infertility boards that I'm sad to leave. Of course I'm happy for my graduation, but it just feels strange. I guess that just means I have many more boards to go to when I log on :o)

I guess I am now cautiously optimistically pregnant :)

So I decided to test this morning to prepare myself for when I got the news on my beta. Much to my surprise, this is what I see!


Holy shitballs, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Super scared, nervous, sad, unsure... you name it I felt it. I laid back in bed and just thought about anything and everything. Then I tell MH. He was so reserved about it and scared, but cuddled me and told me he can't wait for the beta to confirm (he didn't believe it was real)

So, beta draw is at 8:30, I FINALLY get a call back at 3! Beta is at 44.42. Perfect for where I am at (12dpiui)- According to BetaBase, median levels have been 37 for this dpo

I go back in on Monday for a beta #2! Here's to hoping for good numbers!
Thank you again everyone for all your support and love, I don't know what I would have done this whole time without you lovely ladies! <3

The anxiety is killing me

I hate the unknown. Seriously, I've never been patient. Infertility kind of has forced you into it, but I fight :)

Tomorrow is a big day for MH and I. If our beta comes back positive, and all goes well, we'll have a take home baby. If it's negative, we will stop treatments for a while. We were going to wait up to a year, but found out some of my meds expire in June, so we might try another one then.

I always try to prepare myself by looking forward- what the next cycle brings us, and how much closer we could be to our dream. This time is different. I have no cycle coming up, no chance of said baby. This scares the living shit out of me.

I guess all I can do is expect the worst, hope for the best. Uplifting right?