Mini vacay- here I come

So I just got approved to take a few days off...... I'm going to go to Cali to celebrate my nephew's 3rd birthday. I love this kid so much.... can't wait to see him :) Plus it's a few days away from everything!! Yay for vacations! lol Who knows, maybe I'll bring home a bottle or twelve of that good 'ol Napa Valley wine! Mmmmmm

Tonight has been rough

Started off normal.....MH worked today, so I spent the day running errands and watching my Sunday chick flick. I have always gone though happy and sad spells about our TTC journey, which normally passes quickly- but I seem to be in this funk. I'm uber bloated from the trigger shot, I cried myself to sleep last night because of the pain I was in (felt like gas bubbles, just without the gas) and every time I see a baby lately, my heart crumbles a bit. My ever so positive other half is becoming less optimistic, and I have to admit.... I'm scared shitless of what the future holds for us.

I hate the idea of needing another bump break, but I'm not sure how much more I can take. I stay because I want to support my lovely friends always be here for them; to be able to share in their ups and downs. But in the same breath, I feel like I need to step away from the interwebz and focus on everything but TTC (minus our upcoming medicated cycle) ::insert eyeroll::

If I do take a break, please know it is nothing personal. I'm so happy for all the BFP's over the last year plus.... in a way it's what keeps hope alive. I may just need to refocus things if I can't get past this.
Thanks for listening

xoxo
-Papps

I'm so excited for Halloween!!!!

First off, I adore decorating for Halloween! It's so much fun, and I actually think I may have more decorations for Halloween than Christmas!

Back when I was in college, part of my degree (Behavioral Science) was to take Anthropology. From that and my Spanish minor, I learned so much about El Dia de los Muertos (here's link for more info for those interested- sorry don't know how to make it clicky)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead

But I absolutely loved learning about it all, it was so interesting



No parties or anything like that this year, but I can't wait to have all my decorations up, and have the kiddos come knocking on the door :) Aaahhhh, Fall time!

IUI #2 went great!

So yesterday I started having some major cramping, and freaked thinking I was ovulating, so DH and I decided to have sex just in case. His post wash count last IUI was 77 mil, so we figured we would be ok with 15 hours to replenish :)

Sooooooooo, his post wash count this time was 31 mil, 80% motility! Hopefully one of them takes a hold of my fabulous egg :)

Thank you again for all of your support and good thoughts!

xoxo
-Papps

IUI #2 is set for Thursday!

So I go in for my cd12 u/s to see how my response was this cycle to clomid. She tells me I have 14 follies in my left and 19 in my right. 1 of which is dominant, with two mature follies right behind. She said we're ready to move forward already! So, we will trigger tonight at 12 PM, and IUI is set for late Thursday morning!! W00t!

I will say I'm going to be a bit nervous about my lining.... she said it was on the thin side (more so than the other cycles) so I've been pounding out the POM juice just in case that shit works! lol

I talked to my loving Grandma tonight to let her know about the IUI (mine and DH's entire family knows about our struggles) and she said she would continue to say a prayer nightly for us. So sweet, thank you Grams!

Let's hope Bhilyer is right on #2 @ 32!!

xoxo
-papps

I love this quote

I failed my way to success.
-Thomas Edison

This quote makes me chuckle when I see it, and will *hopefully* be me once we have a successful pregnancy!

I got the job!

For those of you who don't know the back story, I work for this company who offers opportunities to train in other areas within the company. Last Aug '09 I was offered one of those training positions and loved it. FF to this last Aug and I'm told they need to place me back, but I was able to apply for a perm position. Of course I did because I loved the work, and I just found out today I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so unbelievably excited to go back =) Yay for Papps lol

My flowers from a fellow bumpie turned IRL friend :)

Mdluv, thank you so much sweetie :) They are absolutely lovely and they smell so beautiful!



xoxo
Papps

Happy Birthday to me :)

So, after Friday, I thought this would be the suckiest birthday in a while, but we've actually had a great time :) Saturday night we went to Cinetopia. A movie theater with a 4 start restaurant inside, as well as a wine bar. It was fabulous! The theater we were in was for 21 and over, had plush leather seats with pillow tops, leather ottomans, and wait service. (They literally took our dinner order IN the theater and served it to us on trays!)

It's hard to tell from this picture, but the front row is about how much room you had in front of you... pretty stinkin cool


Here is the patio where you can eat dinner, or bring out your wine/beer


Here is the dining area (there is a bar area that is not shown in here). They had a pianist & a fireplace with couches


Then today I met up with my parents and we had lunch at this amazing Italian restaurant on the river!


Falls for the paper mill


The river


The bar in the restaurant

cd1

This is the fist time since we have been TTC that I have just cried my eyes out. Not that I haven't cried before, but this was different. I had to work today and I swear I couldn't turn that shit off. I know much of it has to do with PMSing and clomid, but it really hit me hard.

Then, I realized how difficult the morning was, but now in the evening it's like I'm ready to move on again. (could be the wine, LOL) I'm so bummed that it didn't work, but more so because I know DH was so hopeful. Breaks my heart :( I just HAVE to move forward or I'll lose hope.

I've already scheduled our cd3 b/w and u/s for Monday.... sooooooooooo can I get some good thoughts for IUI #2?? Puleeeeeaaaase? xoxoxo

So I tested today- 11dpiui

and of course it was negative. I know its early, and it was actually a diluted sample (I went to bed really late and tested pretty early so there wasn't much time in between) so I'm not devastated just yet.

I will say that I'm not becoming anymore hopeful though. I think I'll wait till 9/9 which is 14dpo. AF should be here around that time so she may actually beat me to it.
It's good we have IUI #2 already set in motion

My Birthday week is just about here!

So, my bff and I started this thing where we get a whole week for our birthday (meaning, its more special than other weeks for the birthday girl). So then I passed this on to DH and we've been doing them ever since. It could be as simple as you get out of doing the dishes, maybe get a foot massage, no extra errands etc... just makes it more fun.
I can't wait for it! I'm excited to see what goodness comes my way! lol

YAY for b-day weeks!